flying on an airplane alone at 5 AM

Suddenly

I miss touching your hair

and kissing your forehead.

I miss the feel of you by my side

warmly pressed against me.

I miss the way I feel

when I look at you, unnoticed.

Without warning

hurtling through the morning darkness

I miss you.

E

I fell into another city

familiar and unknown

dark, tired, my unease

lingering but not shown

rounding the corner

the reason I am here

her silhouetted form

chases away my fear

eyes meet, we touch

a sudden flash, the rush

of a gentle explosion

my face warms in a flush

unexpected joy

the drugs are kicking in

the world waves goodbye

euphoria begins

I am a merry drunken fool

stumbling in the street

blurry ground beneath

my laughing dancing feet

passing strangers smile

amused and entertained

infected by my mirth

that cannot be contained

suspicious of my senses

I soon begin to feel

perhaps the lovely angel

holding my hand is real

and realize this feeling

consuming all of me

is no ordinary drug

but just one hit of E

1988

Our eyes met

in a crowd

through darkness

writhing bodies

loud music.

Hers bright

with youth

not innocence

but vitality

excitement

readiness.

Perhaps our height

drew our gaze together

perhaps

something else.

Over the wailing guitar

only a handful of words

spoken

but volumes

heard

She slid in front of me

moving to the music

gently pushing back

into me

lightly touched my hand

moving it

to her hip

I pulled her in

The nape of her neck

filling my nose

with her scent

her skin smooth

soft

on my lips.

Intoxicated

by cheap beer

and each other

we fell together

easily

knowingly

like familiar lovers.

the music

our friends

faded into the background

as we became aware

of nothing

but the present.

I unwrapped her delicate form

its beauty shining

even in the darkness

of my room

experienced it

in awe

indebted

as if an artist

had just revealed

their most sacred work.

I lavished adoration

with hands

lips

words.

Exhausted

wrapped in each other

drifting

into sleep

I implore her

embrace your youth

revel 

in your beauty

use it

without hesitation

or guilt

appreciate that

like this moment

it is perfect

and 

cannot last.

Next

I awake suddenly to a new day
the world at my feet
I squint at the bright sun
of the future
bask in the warm glow
of the present

I find little more alluring
than potential
The siren's song of the unkown
calls out to me
begging to be known
explored
experienced
felt

I flush at the prospect
of a new city
job
lover
exploding with endless possibilities
each more amazing
than the last

I find no solace
in knowing tomorrow
no comfort in safety
but feel fulfilled
alive
discovering the undiscovered
answering the question
what's next?